How to Maintain Your Sense Of Self as a Spouse

October 3, 2017

 There are many acronyms in military life. Some are serious like PCS (permanent change of station) or not so serious like, BCG’s (birth control glasses). The list goes on and on.


Any spouse, seasoned, dating, or just married spouse knows how confusing this life can be. Many spouses (myself included) throw themselves into this life. We try to learn all the acronyms, attend all the events, and make friends with everyone in our community.


Military life can be all encompassing if we let it.


Becoming consumed in the military life happens for a few reasons: we love our spouse, and country and want to show our support. It’s also hard to escape! Our lives are often dictated by the military.


Maintaining a sense of self and purpose is vital to thriving as a MilSO. Knowing who we are personally and professionally is a great way to remain grounded and sane in this life.


Listed below are a few ways to maintain your sense of self while being a spouse.


Create a personal mission/purpose statement for your life: A mission statement doesn’t have to be too long. To start writing one, ask yourself these questions:


What are my best character qualities? Where do I want to direct my time? Why?



Make friends outside the military: This one is a great way to create another community for yourself. Having military spouse friendships is wonderful, but diversity in friendships can be great as well. Each relationship/friend in your life serves a different purpose.


Volunteer Locally: This has been a game changer for me. I live in Norfolk and started volunteering pretty quickly. I used the website to find opportunities, but there are many different sites to check out. It was hard at first but turned out to be a great way to meet new people.